guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
