I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
i out mim tonsoeep
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