i just had sex bonerless
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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