Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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