it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
