DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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