did you get engaged???
I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i would punch a child for taco bell
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
