She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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