You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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