I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
