so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
