whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
