chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
