Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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