apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You took a bar mat shot.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
