I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
