Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
