Define "chronic" masturbator.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You dont lie about slip and slides
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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