you lied. pity sex is amazing.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
