my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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