she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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