no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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