I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
