dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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