WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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