I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
