I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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