idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
