dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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