Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
