What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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