you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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