You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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