Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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