I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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