Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
