I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
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Do I have a choice?
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laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
