I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
