Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(517): View more from Michigan

sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.

Fav 13 3820 907
share tweet
(646): View more from New York

vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic

Fav 41 4596 1044
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(401): View more from Rhode Island

I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.

Fav 60 1304 16586
share tweet
(256): View more from Alabama

I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up

Fav 50 10842 2115
share tweet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(773): View more from Illinois

It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.

Fav 16 5453 1037
share tweet
(860): View more from Connecticut

I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted

Fav 7 4407 945
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(251): View more from Alabama

As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"

Fav 17 4949 1334
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales

Fav 1 1490 934
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(479): View more from Arkansas

You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.

Fav 0 19 5
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT