I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
