Texts From Last Night

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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?

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  (413): I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old? http://tfl.nu/y7lt
  Replies (4) Good night (982) Bad night (498)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried

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  (570): I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried http://tfl.nu/vdpu
  Replies (20) Good night (657) Bad night (3786)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis

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  (248): I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis http://tfl.nu/utf8
  Replies (38) Good night (3286) Bad night (874)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night

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  (410): Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night http://tfl.nu/ayrv
  Replies (34) Good night (1215) Bad night (6192)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.

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  (514): Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta. http://tfl.nu/sa2y
  Replies (42) Good night (14534) Bad night (1025)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.

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  (412): Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today. http://tfl.nu/4lg3
  Replies (52) Good night (10309) Bad night (1245)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just hotboxed my laundry basket.

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  (717): I just hotboxed my laundry basket. http://tfl.nu/rt8k
  Replies (11) Good night (3302) Bad night (1089)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house

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  (425): i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house http://tfl.nu/3ff4
  Replies (40) Good night (7966) Bad night (1340)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.

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  (504): Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now. http://tfl.nu/h0mp
  Replies (9) Good night (2901) Bad night (861)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.

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  (360): Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people. http://tfl.nu/w1ks
  Replies (33) Good night (3055) Bad night (959)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.

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  (920): I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up. http://tfl.nu/mqfc
  Replies (6) Good night (1643) Bad night (573)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"

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  (860): I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is" http://tfl.nu/o552
  Replies (1) Good night (1428) Bad night (637)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.

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  (908): I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger. http://tfl.nu/tt9q
  Replies (9) Good night (1228) Bad night (693)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.

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  (440): The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult. http://tfl.nu/70ah
  Replies (5) Good night (587) Bad night (319)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask

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  (917): It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask http://tfl.nu/rcu9
  Replies (1) Good night (370) Bad night (281)

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