Capitaan dildo arrescate!
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.