Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.