I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
