Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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