does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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