if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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