oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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