What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Randomize
