i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
