My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
