did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Randomize
