Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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