i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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