i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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