I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
