Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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