Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
My vagina is very pro this idea
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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