no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
